The Last Blog

Twas a great class, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Not much to say on the topic, but I specifically liked the topics of discussion in class - they seemed to stimulate all the students, instead of a minority of them. Everyone had something to say, and that is not usually observed in a literature class. I would take another class by Professor Sexson, but I am transferring back to University of Alaska Anchorage, and am going to miss classes like these. Hopefully, I can find another class such as this one.

My Paper

This is my complete paper, minus works cited and all of the additions:

The Shadow Archetype

In class, we have discussed many different archetypes, but we have yet to talk about the most troubling and mysterious one of all: The Shadow. The Brothers Karamazov has a very model example of the shadow in Dmitri Karamazov. But what is it exactly that makes him a good representation of this archetype? This essay will hope to explain that, and prove that Mitya was placed into the book by Dostoyevsky not as an actual character to be critiqued and understood, but as a force of nature and human psyche that should be apparent in all of us, whether it is suppressed or accepted. I believe that Dostoyevsky wanted the reader to understand the other characters in the book (and also themselves) by first examining Dmitri, and the part of human character that he reveals as the archetype of the shadow.
First, though, one has to ask oneself what the shadow really is. Carl Gustav Jung was a 19th century Swiss psychiatrist and psychologist who developed many of the fundamental ideas upon which modern psychology is based. Among these was the definition of multiple archetypes - repeated characters either in the real world or literature. One can have multiple fractions of every archetype within them, or simply be an epitome of a single one. In any case, Jung found that the most common archetype, and one that is definitely in each of us, is the shadow. The shadow represents the darker side of oneself - “darker” being the avatar of the taboos and unacceptable behavior of the individual’s specific society. This means that the shadow differs from one individual to the next, and cannot take either corporeal or ethereal form, since it feeds off of the beholder’s societal and personal moral compass. Thus, the shadow has been described by C.G. Jung as a synonym for the subconscious, with one major difference. Whereas one’s subconscious can represent both good and evil characteristics, the shadow is the direct separation of the subconscious, and the emphasis on the darker half. The shadow also manifests itself as the wild, unbridled, and almost berserk part of our character. Only when all emotional barriers have been broken can this part of the shadow be seen. A good example of this is Enkidu in the Mesopotamian myth of Gilgamesh - where the demon-man Enkidu is the perverse reflection of the shadow, whose only aim is to destroy Gilgamesh. Nevertheless, Jung argues that all of us have a shadow within, and while most try to deny this important part of our psychological makeup and instead project it upon others, one cannot become ‘whole’ without reintroducing it into our lives and accepting ourselves for who we really are. However, as said before, most of us suppress the shadow, and it is thus the struggle between the shadow and the conscious is born. Nowhere else in literature can represent this struggle be seen in its pure, unfiltered form than in Dmitri in The Brothers Karamazov.
Dmitri is such a good personification of the shadow because he holds elements of other archetypical characters as well. Being in the military in 19th century Russia, he is seen as the hero, and has a seemingly good cause, but acts in such a way that, if you were to only look at a list of things he does, you would think that he was the devil (and all that). However, he is much too complicated of a character for this to be an adequate summary of his psyche.
Nearly every book that he is involved with, Dmitri has an innate struggle between his conscience and his inverse - that which can be called the shadow and its many forms within him. For instance, he “borrows” a large sum of rubles from Katerina, and while he has essentially stolen from her and left her for Grushenka, he feels as if he has wronged her and wishes throughout the book to pay her back, not only as a fulfillment of his debt, but also as an apology to a lost lover that his promise of marriage could not be made. However, we see in several parts in the novel that the shadow also takes a strong hold over him and directly controls his actions. An example of this can be seen when he searches for Grushenka and finds her in the Polish officer’s home. The scene ends with him locking the officer in another room and planning his marriage with Grushenka. No reasonable human being would commit such a crime to an officer of the law. In fact, the book that describes his crusade for love and justice can wholly be named after the shadow’s nearly demonic possession of this young man. Stripped of all the previously mentioned emotional barriers, Mitya does not care what happens to him, since he has already committed multiple crimes and stated that he will end his life if Grushenka is truly out of his reach. This is where the shadow took over him.
There is a good side to all of this, as it is because of his actions on that day that he realizes that living as he does is not the way that a respectable Russian citizen would carry out his life. Later, in prison, he decides to begin anew, now recognizing how erroneous he has been in his logos. Carl Gustav Jung would call Dmitri a complete and whole human being, because he has seen what he looks like in the shade of the subconscious and he has accepted his true self. Jung’s message to all of us would be to look into the shadow of the darkness, stare straight into its eye, and walk away accepting the horrible things you have seen. Whether we can do this or not is within ourselves.

Karamazov Readings - Book XII

Book 12 plus epilogue:

Awesome ending to an awesome book. It plays out like a good Law and Order episode. The hotshot defense attorney, the seemingly broken defendant, the overwhelming circumstantial evidence, the moment of intense intrigue when Katerina shows the letter to the audience, etc.

At first, the crowd expects a guilty verdict, but the legendary Muscovite defense attorney shows that all the evidence is based on rumors, hearsay, and circumstantial grabble. In the end of the trial, the audience sides with Mitya. However, after a short span of time, the jury finds him guilty, raising hell as Dmitri is walked out of the courtroom.

A plan is hatched among our other characters to break him out, and Dmitri agrees to go along with it. The book ends on a hopeful note, when the Karamazov family is redeemed. Alyosha once again counsels Ilyusha's friends, and they chant the Karamazov family. Not because of Fyodor, but because of Alyosha. The End.

Karamazov Readings - Book XI

Book 11:

This was an intriguing book that could have easily been taken out of an investigative novel. Alyosha is asked to snoop about Lise's wild behavior and Dmitri and Ivan's plan that Grushenka feels she is not being filled in on. Turns out, Ivan corrupted Lise with his intellectual hooplah about being hopeless and the world being against Lise, and Dmitri had been plotting with Ivan to break out, but is no longer wanting to do it.

In fact, he has given up on fighting his case anymore. In this chapter we see three characters break - mentally and physically. Dmitri basically admits to his crime, and is looking forward to repenting for it, as an act to repent for his past sins. The vitalized, brash young Dmitri is now a broken shell, no longer the confident man he once was.

Ivan breaks mentally. He visits Smerdyakov and through his 3 visits thinks that he is as much responsible for the death of his father than the real killer (Smerdyakov). He then has hallucinations, which includes the devil coming to him, and when Alyosha visits him he is basically a nervous wreck, and Alyosha is kind enough to stay with him.

The third person to break was Smerdyakov. I'd pay to find out what caused him to hang himself - he was not remorseful about his crime, and he was generally a person that had little morality or self-guilt. It is the greatest mystery in this book, in my opinion, and we will never find out the answer to why Smerdyakov killed himself.

Men and Women... and their arguments

This was a crazy one.. read if you want a laugh.

It happened a while ago, back when I didn't have a roommate (my old one got kicked out of the college due basically to being too poor). I was sitting in my room on a Wednesday after my post-workout shower, just vegetating to Sportscenter on my bed. Suddenly, I hear a slew of loud voices and obviously angry inflection. Being the curious fella that I am, I kicked the door farther open and listened in like that thing a cat does when it wants to hear something far away, leaned over and all. This is a paraphrased dialogue of what I hear:

"I can't believe you slept with Ronny at that party!" (man)
"Well at least Ronny gives me what I want!" (woman)
"You know I can't even have sex with you without getting tested" (man)
"What does that mean?" (woman)
"It means this" *slaps woman loudly*

I was like no way dude, but then I heard:

Third voice - "Yeah that was pretty good, do you want to run through it again?"

And then I realized that they were practicing for a play. Oh well.

My Paper Thesis

My thesis will be as such:

Dmitri is represented in the book as a person. However, to truly understand him, we must look at him not as a human being, but rather a primal force that lives within us all. How it is expressed is seen when one examines the shadow archetype, a creation of C.G. Jung.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 9

Book 10:

This is a very sad book, but it also offers optimism. It tells the story of a mercurial friendship between Kolya and Ilyusha. These two boys became friends when Kolya saw that Ilyusha was being picked on the boys and even though he was outmatched, he always fought back. Kolya has an innate sense of fatherhood and wanted to help Ilyusha, and they became friends because of this.

However, Ilyusha is a very rebellious, and for some odd reason fed the local dog Zuchka a piece of bread with a pin inside, a trick Smerdyakov taught him. This satanic display of indifference toward innocent life is very puzzling, and it shows that the boy has been tormented for a very long time, and no longer believes in the worth of life, whether human or animal. This is shown in the fact that he stabs Kolya with a knife when they fight.

Ilyusha is dying, however, and Katerina (still upset that Dmitri beat Ilyusha's father) sends a doctor from Moscow to the house to try to help him. This is after Ilyusha and Alyosha become acquainted, and an impressive show of respect is displayed between the two, mutually. They enter the house and Ilyusha sees the dog that Kolya called Perezvon, which is actually the dog that he fed the "pinned" bread to, and Ilyusha is very happy at the fact that the dog survived.

This book ends with Kolya promising that he will visit his friend as often as he can.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 8

Book 9:

This book is an investigation into the sins of Dmitri Karamazov. It is actually quite appalling how evil Dmitri is without even realizing it. He has struck an innocent man almost to death, he has stolen money from the woman he left, he uncontrollably pursued Grushenka, and lied to everyone he could about everything he did. However, he did not kill Fyodor. I knew this before I even finished the book. All one has to do is look into the literary techniques employed by Dostoyevsky.

In the previous book, we were presented with a situation where Dmitri was broke, and then a short while later somehow became very wealthy. This missing piece of the story is a writing technique called and ellipsis - where part of the action is not told to arouse the suspicions and biases of the reader. What we are to assume is that Dmitri stole the money from his father and then killed him. However, we have to remember that he found out his father was not seeing Grushenka, and he did not know his father had 3,000 rubles stashed otherwise he would probably have stolen it long before this time. This is why he is not guilty of the crime, but the officials do not know this, so he is kept at the station for a trial.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 7

Book 8:

This is without a doubt my favorite book, bar none. It plays out like a thriller, with Mitya as the main character. After two unsuccessful attempts to borrow money, one from a scheming businessman and the other from a drunk, Dmitri goes to Madame Khokhlakov to ask her for funds. She refuses to hand over any moolah so he asks the servants of the woman where Grushenka is. They refuse to tell him, and he becomes enraged because he thinks that she is at his father's house.

When he goes there, he sees through the window that Father Karamazov is actually alone, and when Grigory accosts him for sneaking around in the garden, the two men fight. Dmitri uses the pestle he got at Madame Khokhlakov's place to attack him, and Grigory falls to the ground, bleeding.

Dmitri leaves the scene, goes back to the servants to find out where Grushenka is once and for all, and somehow comes up with A LOT of money. Hey buys back his pistols and buys several hundred's rubles worth of wine and food. This he takes to Grushenka's place, where she is staying with her long lost love. The threesome play cards, and Grushenka realizes that Dmitri is really the man she loves. After a scuffle, Mitya locks the Polish officer in another room, and the two lovers start talking. But then, officers storm into the room and Dmitri is arrested for the murder of Fyodor Pavlovitch Karamazov.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 6

Book 7:

This brief book, although is not physically long, explains much about the development of Alyosha's faith. He, along with the rest of the church, is befuddled that the body of Zosima, instead of paving the way for a miracle, unleashes a great odor upon the people.

He then meets with Grushenka, with Rakitin's prodding, and speaks to her about her personality. He tells her that she is not a bad person, and her realization of this has allowed Alyosha to regain his faith. His dream is revealing in the sense that we can see that, while Alyosha is somewhat insecure with his feelings, he has the strength of will to overcome that insecurity.

Short blog post I know, but this is my third in a row in one sitting and I'm running out of ideas. Plus this was a short book so don't criticize me!

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 5

Book 6:

This is a very interesting part of the novel, and not only because Zosima dies. It is intriguing to know that Zosima was once a military man and converted to Christianity through an epiphany he had on the morning of a duel he was supposed to have between him and a man that was due to marry Zosima's love. It is a refreshing change from the brooding of Book 5, where the murder is planned and all but done.

The best part of this novel is when Zosima said that monks are extremely important to Russian people. What he said is true. As a Russian citizen I can back up his claim that the monk is closest to the common people. Maybe it is because Christianity is much more important to my people, but when a Russian man or woman has a problem or something is bugging them, they don't pay a certified psychologist and lay on a sofa to talk about their problems, instead they go to the church. We rely on our religion, and it has worked for us very well. The monks are our counselors and those who will stop to help anyone, no matter how evil.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 4

Book 5:

This is one of the more deep books, as we have discussed in class. In this book, Ivan makes the case against God that, because there is suffering in the world, God does not exist. It feels like Dostoyevsky has seemingly taken a break from the actual flow of the book and story development to take some time to further develop the characters and their beliefs. This is good in a way because it proves further how deep and human-like the characters really are. Dostoyevsky has not simply created a name on a page. He has created life, in all its definitions except for the physical one. These ethereal creations of a writer can think for themselves, and this is shown in the way Ivan argues his point.

The second major theme in this book is the emotional instability of Lise, with whom Alyosha begins to plan a marriage with. She constantly argues with her mother. While this may seem normal in this country, at such a young age in Russia, children arguing with their parents is a very rare thing to see. I think it is simply because age is not valued here. In Russia, you value an elder's insight, as they infinitely more wise than you. Same with parents. As a child growing up in Russia myself, I knew at a very young age that my parents knew better than I did and accepted their decisions. This is due out of respect. It is quite sad really - in most other places, elders are treated as the leaders of a community. Here, they are dumped into the nearest nursing home as soon as their children are tired of them.

Also, the groundwork for Smerdyakov's murder of Fyodor is laid here. First, he fakes a seizure to make people think it was not him that did it, since a bedridden epileptic cannot possibly commit murder. Once his alibi is certain, he tells Ivan that Dmitri will be aware of Grushenka meeting with Fyodor, because he knows her secret knock. This sets up his attempt to pin it on someone else.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 3

Book 4:

It is interesting to note that when Zosima was dying, he asked once again of Alyosha to leave the monastery. Even more interesting is that this time, Alyosha listened.

The book consists of Alyosha's crusades, or whatever one may call them. It is filled with character development, and character exposure. We see exactly how similar Alyosha is to Zosima, as he defends his father, saying he is not evil but "twisted". He realizes that his father simply acts on his own moral compass, and wherever it may be pointing, it is not entirely his fault that it is pointing there. The scene with the captain was very revealing. At first, Alyosha was very befuddled that some random boy would bite him, for no reason. Then, when he finds out that his brother (Dmitri) brutally beat the old captain that is the boy's father, he understands, and does not pursue the matter further. He also understands why the old captain will not accept money, and this shows that Alyosha is the ultimate saint in the book, maybe even greater than Zosima himself. This is because while we do not know what kind of upbringing he had (many Russian priests were actually offspring of wealthy citizens), we do know that Alyosha has had a very difficult road of tribulations on his way to the monastery, and how he was able to stay so vigilant in his faith is a testament to the strength of it.

Old Karamazov Readings Pt. 2

Book 3:

An extremely eventful book, and one of my favorites. We find out more about the servant Grigory, and how he had a deformed child that died two weeks after the birth. Then we find out about the child of stinking Lizaveta, Smerdyakov. It is very plausible that Fyodor raped the idiot girl and this shows exactly how bottomless his immorality really is. The interesting thing here is, while Lizaveta was what is now considered mentally handicapped, Smerdyakov is actually an intelligent individual. Granted, he has epilepsy, but the contrast of lives between him and his mother is apparent.

Alyosha leaves the monastery and is given a note by a wealthy acquaintance of the Karamazovs that asks Alyosha to visit Dmitri's former fiancee Katerina. He sees Dmitri on his way there and is told the story of how he met Katerina in the military, which included a story about a plan Dmitri had to bed Katerina, and his failure to do so because of his conscience. He also asks Alyosha to tell Katerina the engagement is definitely off, and to get 3,000 rubles from their father to pay off his "debt" to Katerina. This part of the book is interesting because it shows how Dmitri is different from Fyodor. While Fyodor does not know of a thing called regret and his conscience is completely absent, Dmitri is disgusted by how he sometimes acts, and wants to somehow make up for his sins. This is a very important contrast because it shows that Dmitri is somewhat of a combination between Alyosha and Fyodor. On one hand, he commits deep wrongdoings multiple times, but on the other hand he always tries to make up for them and lives a religious life.

Here is where it gets interesting. After dismissing his servants (Smerdyakov and Grigory) due to their argumentative state, Fyodor starts throwing verbal jabs at Alyosha about his mother. When he starts describing Alyosha's mother's seizures, Alyosha has one himself. Then Dmitri busts into the room, accuses his father of housing Grushenka, throws him on the floor and then leaves after threatening to kill Fyodor.

Alyosha then visits Katerina and later gets a letter from Lise, who describes her love for Alyosha. After such an exhausting day, Alyosha decides to stay with Zosima, who's health is rapidly deteriorating.

Old Karamazov Readings

So I have had lapse or two in regards to keeping up with my Karamazov blogs. In fact, this is the first one, so I will start on book two.

When Muisov, Fyodor, Ivan, Alyosha, and Zosima gather in the church to discuss matters, we see a great contrast of characters. Fyodor is making a fool of himself with what he is saying, which makes Ivan very embarrassed. Muisov, already irritated that Fyodor dragged him to a church when he knows full well that he (Muisov) is an atheist, is further angered by Fyodor. Zosima, however, is not bothered at all by his behavior. In fact, when Zosima comments on Fyodor and how he is essentially lying to himself, and how one cannot love mankind before he is himself trustworthy and trusts others, we see exactly how much of a contrast there is between this holy man and the others. Muisov is plagued by anger, Fyodor is basically the antithesis of the holy man, and even Alyosha's faults come through when he shows embarrassment at not only his family but also at the fact that the little girl Lise pointed out that he no longer visits her, even though they were once schoolmates.

The scene with the women only amplifies this contrast, as Zosima tells even a murderer that her crimes will be forgiven if she only repents. This chapter, I believe, is probably the greatest one in this book when it comes to defining who the characters are and where their allegiances lie.

Later, when Dmitri arrives, we encounter the love triangle between the Karamazovs. As they are arguing about the courts and separation of church and state, Fyodor starts prodding Dmitri about how he has left his fiancee for a woman named Grushenka. Dmitri then angrily points out that he is only talking about this because Fyodor has tried to steal Grushenka multiple times from Dmitri, and then we realize that Ivan is trying to take Dmitri's fiancee. Fyodor then leaves the room, and only comes back to unleash a tirade about the stupidity of monastic life and to tell Alyosha to come home. Zosima, in a strange turn of events, kneels down before Dmitri, as a sign that he can see that this argument between the family members can and will end with bloodshed, and he wants to acknowledge that fact now. The chapter ends with Zosima telling Alyosha that he should leave the monastery, and Alyosha's conversation with Rakitin.

Antigone

Antigone is a great tale about the daughter of Oedipus and her desire to bury her dead brother. The story is a great tragedy in the classical sense. Most people think that a tragedy is when a story involves the untimely death of the main character. In times of classical Greece, the definition of a tragedy is as such:

A great person (supposedly greater than the audience would have been), through a great fault - whether it be the excessive pride of hubris or otherwise - causes his or her own downfall, and this downfall is an unavoidable one.

Now knowing the definition, we now can examine whether this story fits the classical definition.

The daughter of a king, currently the actual queen of Thebes, is indeed of a greater social stature than most Greeks at the time. She does indeed cause her own downfall, and her great character flaw is the unbreakable stubbornness seen in not only her, but also Oedipus (remember how steadfast he was in denying the facts that showed he killed his father and married his mother), and even Laius (in the attempt of denying Delphic prophecy, which is actually the word of Apollo himself). This is probably one of the best examples of tragedy in Greek literature, and it is a fitting sequel to Oedipus Tyrannus and Oedipus at Colonus.

One thing that stuck with me in this play was how vividly Antigone remembered Polynices' act of kindness, which eventually became the reason that she was so headstrong in her resolve to bury him. Apparently, he was the only sibling that was ever nice to her, which is tragic in itself. The most striking thing about this play was the resemblance to Romeo and Juliet. In fact, if I didn't know better, I would think that the play about the two lovers was in fact based on either the ending of this play... or the other Greek myth about the two lovers that have to speak through a hole in the wall and then they mistime some things and.. both die yeah I can't remember the name of that one. So yeah.

The Tragic Sense Of Life

It is fairly difficult for me to think in the tragic sense of life, as I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had close breaks that have turned out in my favor so many times that I am almost sure that a saint is looking after me. However, I believe anyone can do this, since as a race we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive, because we believe the positive is the intended status quo and how things should be at all times, so we are interrupted by the negative that breaks this balance and causes us to focus on it.

Tragically, the human race is a race of idiots, corrupt politicians, ignorant fools, and otherwise evil persons. There are people that murder dozens, hundreds, and even millions on a whim or sometimes for no reason at all. We are the only race of mammals that, instead of creating a natural balance with our surroundings and environment, destroy everything we see and every place we inhabit. In this sense, humans are a virus, a stain on this planet that will most likely be its destruction. The vast majority of the population of this planet is so ridiculously stupid that it has been shown a majority of middle school children cannot find their own state on a map of the United States. This, I believe, is the greatest crime a human being can commit - not rape or murder, but being so ignorant and stupid that they do not even realize how ignorant they are. And many of these people think that they know everything! The tragic truth is, their greatest and most heroic moment in life will be the one they spend just before they die and realize how pathetic and worthless their vile existence has been, and how much better everyone around them will be once they pass. That helpless moment, and their inevitable death, eventually puts out one more ignorant fool, which is a good start. The even more tragic truth is that the few real, interesting, and worthy people that have lived on this planet die much too early, and all we are left after their death is this crowd of stupid, brainless, immoral mass of sheep and cattle we otherwise call people. You know if you are one of them, or one of the truly special people that others around you will be happy they knew in their lives.

There, I tried my best at being dark and tragic. Pretty good, right?

Is it better to travel to places or read about them?

Before I start this post, we need to remember those 1968 lyrics by Marvin Gaye - "Ain't nothing like the real thing".

This holds true in my opinion. Reading about a culture or place is good because you are enlightened about the world. But do you really experience the culture? Does the ink on the pages really let you see, hear, smell, breathe in the sights and sounds of the place it is describing? I do not think that it does, and to find this out all one needs to do is read about my corner of the world, southeastern Alaska. In fact, read all the books, newspaper articles, online travel blogs, or any other media about the area and think of how it made you feel. And then go here. It truly is nothing like the books, and on the chance that you get here when the sun comes out, you will see the rays of the sun penetrate the air and it will be unlike anything you will ever see. The snow-capped mountains will contrast with the overlying dense forests, and you will see the ocean connect the many islands. The thick, salty coastal air will fill your lungs and you will feel a sense of calmness about you. Even as I write this description down I know that those of you reading will never truly understand what I mean until you come and see it for real.

And while you should read about a particular area to know about the factual information of the place, there really ain't nothing like the real thing.

My Sonnet

What cruel and vile lady I know of
Her games I've never seen before I knew
What could be called a passion or just love
I know it all too well although I'm new

On every night that I get home I feel
The aches and pains of her affection, though
I think about her touch at every meal
And cannot wait to get back to her, no!

I must resist, I think - as I lie down
to sleep, the next day thoughts of this are gone
And I can't wait to be back at her gown
Enduring pain with pleasure, am I wrong?

With night, again, I ponder - who is this -
This mistress I call boxing really is?

My Infinite Found Poetry

In the South Hedges, there is an emergency evacuations sheet on every door with directions on where to go in case you-know-what hits the fan. It is these directions which provided me with inspiration for my found poetry. The directions were followed - I have picked words that were not of a literary nature and I have not added any words - only rearranged them. This is how it turned out:

Do not use doors!
Evacuate immediately to storage
As indicated, when alarm sounds
By way of the main lobby doors

Notice something strange at the end of the poem? The directions contradict the instructions at the beginning. This is my infinite poem, because once you reach the end, you go back to the beginning. Infinite Poetry is now a trademark - I want 10% every time you use it.

Sonnets and Rap Music

Reader Warning: This post is long, but it is in-depth and proves something that people have denied for many years. Read on to find out what I am talking about.

When I was reading definitions and examples of sonnets (incidentally the word sonnet is derived from an Italian word meaning "little song") I was mildly surprised at the length - 14 lines. I had previously thought that sonnets were of haiku size. Then it got me thinking, and I went off on one of my crazy tangents of thought that has no logical connection to anything. This time, however, it has a logical connection.

Is rap considered poetic? What, by definition, is poetry? I had to scour the internet for a proper definition, and the one I found most fitting is this:

Definition: Poetry is an imaginative awareness of experience expressed through meaning, sound, and rhythmic language choices so as to evoke an emotional response.

By this definition (and many others) rap would indeed be poetry. Let me clarify what rap I am talking about. I'm not talking about crappy top 40 dance music like little wayne and soulja boy (notice how I didn't capitalize those). I am talking about true rappers, guys that made real music that has a meaning and expresses thought. I am talking about rappers like Blue Scholars, Jurassic 5, Immortal Technique, Dr. Dre, among others. Now that we have this minor detail ironed out, lets take a look at an example of a sonnet by John Milton, one of the most renowned poets in literary history:

On His Blindness.

"When I consider how my light is spent

Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,

And that one talent which is death to hide

Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent

To serve therewith my Maker, and present

My true account, lest he returning chide,

"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"

I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent

That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need

Either man's work or his own gifts: who best

Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state

Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed

And post o'er land and ocean without rest:

They also serve who only stand and wait."

This is a poem that describes many abstract emotions, concepts, and beliefs. It can mean many different things to different people, it all matters how you read and how you relate. As stated before, rap doesn't have to suck. It doesn't have to be about big-assed black women, gold chains, spinning rims, and other shows of stupidity and wasteful uses of money. Personally, I have listened to rap since I was about 10, and my favorite rap group is Jurassic 5. They are a chill group that doesn't focus on the money or the fame. Their lyrics and flow is unmatched and their message is that of going back to the roots, being real, and unity. This is a clip from one of their songs called "What's Golden":

Check it out now...
I work the pen to make the ink transform
On any particular surface the pen lands on
Zaakir is hands on, what's the beef?
The Cooley High cold chief high post techniques
I drape off poetic landscapes and shapes
Illustrate the paper space off the pens that paint
Then design what have a National Geographic a magic
With tailor-made status and plus flavor that's automatic

The title "What's Golden" is a play on words because it focuses on the artistic side of rap music (which is what they consider golden) rather than the gold jewelry those kids that call themselves rappers wear. This part of the song is where Zaakir explains that his craft is that of taking emotions, landscapes, and the visual arts and attempting to express them through his songwriting. If that's not poetry then I don't know what poetry is. Need more proof? Here's a clip from their song "High Fidelity":

My words have been connected to the poets of old
The way I utilize the pen and turn ink to gold
Keep it overly creative
Innovator of soul
Now check the flavor from the fader
Which my DJ holds

Argument over. Rap is definitely poetry, and anyone who denies this listens to the wrong kind of rap.

Differences In Style

Recently, as I was reading The Brothers Karamazov, I stumbled upon the thought that made me think about modern literature quite unlike I have ever thought about it before. How brief would a novel like Karamazov be if it was written in, say, Hemingway's style?

For all of you that do not know, Ernest Hemingway's writing style is a style that, at first, appears blunt and straightforward, however upon re-reading his work and finding the motifs behind it, you realize there is a nearly bottomless well of deep thought put into the work. Nevertheless, his signature sentence structure is curt and to the point. I am sitting. I am writing a blog. It is very late in the night. Something like that.

Think for a second about Dostoyevsky's style now. How long and drawn out would a short novel like The Old Man And The Sea (Hemingway's best work) be if it was written in that style? First off, it would be 800 pages instead of the ~120. Also, we would become intricately familiar with every detail of the old man, of the boy, even the boat and the cracks in the boat. That is the difference in style- Dostoyevsky uses his imagination to determine every detail of a work in a very meticulous way that characterizes figures in the book through a three-dimensional lens, and Hemingway tells you just enough about a character, through the eyes of another, and leaves the experiences in the book infer about them what it is you want to infer.

I have thought about the vast parity between styles of literature, and although I prefer Hemingway's style, Dostoyevsky's is definitely much more difficult to develop and use. It is also rare, which is probably what draws people to his works. You should all (those that are misguided enough to have read the blog I wrote through half-open eyes at 2 a.m.) try writing a short piece, and have it interpreted by yourself and others, to determine your writing style. Some of you may be surprised to know who exactly you write most alike.

A Good Man Is Hard To Find?

This quotation intrigues me, as I have no idea what it means. What, by definition, is a good man? Is it a buff, heroic, grizzled male with a statuesque figure who fishes, hunts, and has more hair on his chest than on his head? Or is it a sensitive turtle-neck wearing coffee shop revolutionary? Who really knows what a "good man" is?

The truth in this situation is the fact that it is not hard to find a good mate, but that in human psychology, it is innately greener on the other side. Despite our higher intelligence and Ipods, we are still very much animal. And animals (for the most part) do not stay with the same mate their entire life. So we are not intended to, either. It is the greatest challenge next to raising a child our species experiences, and it invariably makes one of the partners question why they are with the person they are with, even though they once loved them. It is not that a good man is hard to find, but rather that our psyche is not meant to handle one personality from marriage to the end of our lives. Think about when you had a favorite toy, and one day you got tired of that toy and asked your mother or father for another toy. When you got that new toy you thought life couldn't get any better than this, but the cycle simply repeated. The situation with mating is the same; we like a certain person for a certain amount of time, but after that time is over, it is like the expiration date on the milk- it is simply, by nature, time to move on. Yet we do not, either because we do not want to go through with the legal tribulation of divorce, or because we do not want our children to have to experience a life without two parents, so we are locked into a lifestyle we weren't meant to live, and be with a partner we realistically, as a mammal, are not meant to be with for extended periods of time.

So in conclusion, it is not that males are inherently difficult to put up with, but that we should all go through at least one generation where males run around to every woman, courting her and having a child, and then moving on to the next within a year or so. Then we should go back to the whole stupid marriage thing, and see how much better life as a primal being really is. Wouldn't that rock though?

Good Literature vs Good Stories

Many of you might be wondering why books like Ulysses and The Brothers Karamazov are considered the greatest novels ever written. I myself wondered this for most of my life, since the stories they told were relatively normal, and not very immersing (at least not for me or anyone I know). Then I had what can be called an epiphany - its not the story they tell that makes them great, but the style in which the novels were written.

That being said, none of the "greatest" novels tell a decent story - not a single one. Personally, I read books for a temporary respite from our world, not to read about the worst parts of it. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the style of writing in a book, but I don't read a book for the style - I read it for the story. Maybe its my personal bias coming through, but the only books I can bear to read are either fantasy, adventure, or science fiction. Many people talk down on these genres, saying its not "great writing". That doesn't matter to me, or anyone growing up in my generation. Youth is no longer reading what their parents recommend them, they are now reading good stories rather than good literature, and they (we) are choosing stories of grandeur that free us from the binds and chains of real life, and send us to a world that does not follow these rules, and embraces us with imaginative characters, terrible evils, heroes, and incredible conflicts, and people are flipping the pages like they are on fire.

Let's take a look at probably one of the greatest stories ever told - The Lord of the Rings. What Tolkien has done surpasses every mason, every government, and everyone in general. He has created a world - one so believable that it truly lives in anyone who has read his books. The story told is so vast, so grand, and so detailed, that it surpasses any tale anyone has ever told before.

Now tell me, what would you rather read, The Lord of the Rings or the maze of strange and uninspiring paragraph sentences that is Ulysses? The answer is obvious. Great writing doesn't make a great story. And everyone loves a great story.

February 2nd

I woke up at 6 a.m. to my annoyingly loud alarm. Shutting it off, I thought I could get thirty winks without falling asleep again - how wrong I was. I awoke again at 7:30 and started hastily preparing for my Human Development class. It was the type of class that meets once a week, expects students to actually learn something, and drills us on exams with material we were supposed to look at "outside of class", load of horse crap, I know. In any case, I walked to class amid other half-awake students and tried not to slip on the icy paths. When I got to class, I pulled out my notebook and prepared for the onslaught of presentations that would invariably end up on the exams, and started writing down all the notes as fast as my hand would go without tearing the paper. That's just how lecture classes are - you get Carpal tunnel writing notes or you fail the course.

8:50. Good, time to go to bowling. Yes, I have bowling class, and I love the break from actual work. The other guys that are usually in my lane don't even try, and most of the time we talk about football or the upcoming draft. I tell them "The Raiders should just pick Tebow for kicks" - this garnered laughter, because Tim was probably the best college football player of all-time, but unfortunately his pro stock is low because he doesn't have a quick release (but he is still a great QB). After class I relaxed and read some more Ovid's Metamorphoses, the book assigned in my other literature class. Lunch goes by fairly quickly, and amid some studying, dinner does too. 6 rolls along, and its time to get ready for boxing.

Boxing is my greatest passion, the only sport I have ever been fully committed to, and fortunately I am very good at it. I have trained with former and current pro fighters - including a pro boxer and one of my hometown friends who fought in the UFC. The workout goes very well, and we practice some strafing and duck unders to finish off the day. To wrap up my tuesday, I watch some Family Guy and go to sleep to the sound of my Ipod.

Earliest Memory

My earliest memory isn't much - I was playing with my toy soldiers and I asked my mom if I could go to my friend's house. She said I could only if I put all the toy soldiers back in their tub. Yeah, the toy soldiers had their own tub. It was camo.

Also, I've had times where I would look at a home video or a picture of things I did before this earliest memory, and I would recall them. Isn't that odd? It proves how little humans know about themselves. I think it is ironic that we call this the age of information, consider ourselves intelligent life forms, and yet we know so very little about our own psyche. To prove this, scientists still do not know why we yawn or why we dream. Hell, we don't even know how we got here. Our best scientific theory so far consists of an enormous explosion that somehow occurred out of nothing - yeah, nothing. It would be a pretty swank theory except that it isn't.. you know.... possible. And then those crazy biologists are telling us that our only purpose in life is to make babies. To me, it sounds like our entire species is collectively saying things we know absolutely nothing about. To all those supposed scientists, I'm going to remind them Socrates' most famous theme - to be the wisest and most intelligent is to realize that you know almost nothing. So while our information age is sitting around concocting more ingenious ideas about explosions out of nothing and making more babies, I'm going to sit here and think about the time when I played with my toy soldiers. Those were good times.

My Wierd Dream

I've had a very odd and horrific dream twice. It starts off with me at my friend's apartment back in Russia (my friend lived one floor up from me). Me and my friend Igor are talking, and suddenly we get a supernatural chill and both look at the fridge. We both feel a presence there that doesn't make sense, it is difficult to explain. Think of a Jedi sensing a disturbance in the force, except we weren't Jedi. But it would be pretty sweet if we were, now that would be a dream I'd like to have more than once.

Anyways, we both feel this presence, and start moving towards the fridge. Then suddenly my friend turns to me, and with a completely serious face sais "It posesses people", as if he knew what it was. Suddenly, his grandmother, who was lying on the sofa, starts shaking demonically, as if in the grips of a terrible seizure. My friend is still standing there, completely focused on me, completely disregarding the fact that his grandmother is being posessed by this evil force. I see his grandmother go still, and know at that moment who the force is going to go for next. I run out of the room, as fast as my legs can carry me, flying around corners, as I feel the demonic spirit nip at the back of my head. Down the stairs I go, skipping four steps a jump, hoping and praying I can get back to my apartment before I end up as my friend's grandmother did. I fling open the door with all my might, and fly inside, slamming the door and latching both locks with a flustered alacrity. Just as the second lock is in, the door slams and bends at the edges, almost unable to contain the incredible force from the other side. I wake up.

Boring?

Today we were told that we were all boring. Kind of depressing, isn't it? And you might even be dillusional enough to think that were true if you had listened to the professor's description of our lives. Luckily for me, not only am I a bad listener, but I also disagree with it to such extent that words do no justice to how I feel about it. But I'll try.

Trying to fool people that they are boring is in my opinion an odd thing to do. To disprove that statement, remember the last time you were with your friends before you left to college, your best friends and the people who know more about your than your parents do. What did you do? Chances are that you didn't do anything that would look exciting on paper. Maybe you watched a movie together, ate at your favorite place, or shared your last joint together, I'm not going to judge. Someone looking in from the outside would say that it looks like you had an ordinary day. But what would they know? How would they have any idea how significant that day was to you? Those raindrops falling on your head the last day you were with your best friends may seem like simple precipitation to an outsider, but for you they were a subtle reminder of how short of a time you have left, watching the clock of your childhood reach the end, knowing all that you knew before was going to change.

So to that stranger looking in, you had an ordinary day. But to you, you had experienced one of the most memorable and life-changing days of your life, one which would be so vivid that you would take it to the grave, and possibly even after that. This is what I mean when I say that nobody's life is boring. Not one day gone by doesn't have a significance to us, whether we remember it or not. The point is, every single day that you have gone through has changed you in some way, even if you don't remember what you had for breakfast two days ago. To say that day was boring is to say your whole life journey is nothing but a note on a paper, to be examined and judged to be unimportant and mundane. And that simply isn't fair to those people.

Catching Tigers In Red Weather

This phrase is infinitesimal in meaning, because it has a different meaning for everyone. It is generally described as the pursuit of something rare or desired (or both). For someone in particular, it may be trying to find members of the quickly disappearing tiger species. For me, it is the pursuit of being the best at everything I do - no exceptions. This can be seen as a blessing, or a flaw, depending on whether one likes to be as hyper-competitive as I am. For Robert Frost it can be to describe the perfect nature scene in one of his poems. For Kobe Bryant it manifests itself in dropping 40 with 10 assists every game. And yet it might also be to catch the tiger in your dream as you lie asleep on a boat with your boots on. Whatever it is, it is always elusive and does not always appear as you had imagined.

How do I know what I think until I see what I say?

The title of this blog was one of the objectives we were supposed to think about, and the professor explained it in class today. However, I don't know if I agree with his explanation. Apparently, our thought process needs to see something written down before we truly know about it. Then exactly how did every pre-Sumerian (and the many cultures after the Sumerians that still did not have written language) know about their culture, and what message their stories contained?

Many nations used oral language to portray mythology, religion, and any other collection of tales. And who is to say that since these stories were not written down, the people had no idea what they were talking about and were just saying collective babble? Oral mythology is no less interesting or deep than written mythology. Take the story of Beowulf for example - the oldest European myth that we know of today. Beowulf was a mercenary in Geatland, modern-day Scandinavia, when a king contacted him to rid his kingdom of the troll Grendel that had been plaguing his people for years. What does Beowulf do? He takes his oversized sword and not only slays Grendel, but also chops off the trolls mother's head. He then probably returned to the king's hall, covered in blood and intestines, and feasted. Pretty awesome tale huh? Now that story has been retold orally for many hundreds of years before ever being written down.

To me, this all disproves that you need to see what you say before you know what you think. The entirety of oral tradition never wrote down anything, and the stories these people passed down have been preserved remarkably, and are some of the most talked-about and interesting myths of all time.

Overheard Awesome Convo

As I am supposed to do, I listened in on a conversation. I was in the library studying and reading and these two guys sat at my table and started talking about one of my favorite movies - "Jackass 2". They were talking about a specific scene in the movie where Johnny Knoxville puts on a blindfold, takes a drag of a cigarette, and then a bull charges him straight-on, and throws him in the air like a piece of styrofoam. Johnny quickly gets up and jumps the fence of the bullfighting ring. I talked to the two dudes and all three of us reminisced about the movie. Good times.

Third Class

After class, just read "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue", and have already read before the story of Demeter and Persephone. To be honest, I don't like Bob Dylan, and his lyrics don't make one bit of sense. The poem "It's" (I'm getting better at this shortening thing) describes a bunch of random scenes including "Yonder stands your orphan with his gun" which is impossible, since if it was your kid, for him to be an orphan you would have to be dead. He then talks about sailors rowing home, army men going home, and the "vagabond" who is knocking on your door, wearing your old hand-me-down clothes. And then you strike a match for some reason. Sense? No. Good poem? No. I don't see a single connection between this and the previous stories we read about a man fooling women and killing them.

However, the myth of Demeter and Persephone is one of the most commonly told Ancient Greek tales. It is an aetiological description of how the seasons came to be. Persephone, daughter of harvest goddess Demeter, is one day pulled down into the underworld by Hades, who is allowed to do this because Zeus is alright with it. Demeter starts looking for her daughter, and doesn't eat or do her godly duties, which means that earth's crops start dying. Zeus is not longer alright with this, and sends Hermes to demand that Persephone be returned. He agrees, but only if she has suffered as her mother did and not eaten anything for 8 days. Turns out, she ate pomegranate seeds and its because of this that she spends part of the year with Demeter and part of it with Hades.

This myth has elements that are similar to the previous stories about the Pied Piper and Connie that we read, including the trickery used by Hades to plant a cosmic flower that would allow him to tear open the earth and pull Persephone into the underworld. However, this is much different from the story of Connie because Connie was much more in control than Persephone ever was. Hades was not only one of the most powerful gods of Ancient Greece, he was also Zeus' brother, and had his consent to wed Persephone, so she never really had a voice in the matter. In any case, the stories we read before are rather similar to this one, which hints at the possibility of this being another part of the archetype I outlined in my last post.

Second Class

After reading "Jabberwocky", I'm not really sure why prof told us it was hard to understand. Seemed pretty simple, there's a monster named Jabberwock and he has a bird named Jubjub and the Bandersnatch as sidekicks, and the kid takes them out. I read the explanation after that and I was right.

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been", "The Demon Lover", and "The Pied Piper Of Tucson" seemed all related somehow, especially "Where" and "Pied". Notice how I really shortened those titles down the second time around. They are both basically the same story, with minor changes in each. "Pied" seems to be the real story about a serial killer named Charles Shmid during the '60's and "Where" is a simple retelling of this news story. Both tell the tale of a man who lures women with his sweet talk, and the women realize that something is wrong with the man. This is also the story of "The Demon Lover", where a woman meets a man who wants to show her a different lifestyle, and she eventually realizes that it is the devil. He then breaks the ship in half and kills her. Interesting poem.

All three stories are retellings of a single archetype. An archetype that is familiar to us - the dangerous stranger who picks up women (possibly really dumb women?) and the women later realize they weren't dealing with a troublesome yet attractive man, but with the embodiment of evil.

First blog.. thoughts

Made a blog, but it didn't let me log back in for some reason. Stupid web.
Anyway this is a copy+paste of what I wrote for my other blog's first day of class:

First class, pretty chill. Got a class description, syllabus, the whole nine yards. Prof butchered my name pretty gnarly but thats alright, I'm used to it. Class is over, and uhh, thats it.